The moment a woman is pregnant there is a plethora of suggestions and advice that comes her way. Everybody around tells her what to do and what not to do. The people close to her take maximum efforts not to let her stress or take any tension. Among these useful suggestions, there also comes a few that are not very helpful. Every pregnant woman will vouch at the fact that she has heard some most bizarre and terrible things from others. Sadly most of these things are from other women. The negative things and comments during pregnancy are even more disturbing and stressful. From my experience, I planned to pen down a few things that one should never say to a pregnant lady.
1. Keep the horror stories to yourself.
Every woman who has ever been pregnant will confess to the fact that she has heard a few horror pregnant stories. A lot of times these are from very close people from whom you least expect them. Every pregnancy is different and hence a terrible experience that one woman had cannot be applicable to other. Stories about miscarriages, stillbirths, difficult labor,emergency procedures are always shared first rather than any positive stories. A very few women actually will motivate with the positive pregnancy experiences. The negative ones do not help at all and do nothing more than adding on to the stress.
2. Do not comment about the baby bump.
Every pregnant lady will have a different size of the baby bump depending on so many factors. One very common expression by others is either that the bump is too big or too small. Genuinely speaking the doctors and midwives are keeping a tab on the fetal health. So no one actually needs any more stress about how her belly is growing.
3. Do not comment on the weight.
Pregnancy is a difficult journey especially with numerous hormonal changes happening in a woman’s body. With changing skin, changes in the breast, weight gain and the mood swings many women are already unhappy with their body. Commenting about how she is putting on weight and how difficult it could be to get back in shape will do harm to her self-esteem. She is nurturing a life within herself and does not need any unsolicited stress at this moment.
4. Do not pass judgement on how her labor will be.
Having a natural or assisted birth depends on a lot of factors. I personally faced comments where someone passed judgement about how my delivery will be only because I am a plus size woman. It is not a very pleasant feeling and I did have self-doubt. It took my efforts to get my motivation back. So, let the woman, her doctor and her partner think about the birth.
Pregnancy is a beautiful journey and every pregnant woman has her set of anxieties already. If you really care for someone it is better not to add anything to her stress. If your sentence starts with “I don’t want to scare you, but….”, It’s better not to say it.
It is her experience so let her treasure it. All that a pregnant woman needs is positivity and motivation. It’s important to be sensitive while communicating with her. Within all the changes happening in her body and mind, it is very crucial to give her the comforting atmosphere where she is at peace.